Welcome to Client Resources.
Books
I’m an avid lover of bibliotherapy and psychoeducation. Consider using your local library with the free Libby app for digital or audiobooks. Most people retain 79% when reading and 53% when listening, so I listen twice when the material is thick or rewind. Changing thoughts into talking or writing solidifies information, so take notes, blog, and/or discuss these readings in therapy and with others.
Start Here
The Courage to be Disliked (1)
by Ichiro Kishimi & Fumitake Koga: Self-forgiveness, self-care, and mind decluttering. How to change and ignore self-imposed limitations and expectations you think others have of you.
The Courage to be Happy (2)
by Ichiro Kishimi & Fumitake Koga: Sequel to The Courage to be Disliked. Love is important but praise can damage children. Find personal ownership of boundaries, and understand how to be happy even when others disapprove of your decisions.
Adult Children of Emotionally
Immature Parents
by Lindsay C. Gibson: Recognizing and addressing emotional immaturity, instability, and selfishness in parents. What to do when our parents are opposed to insight or change.
Daring Greatly
by Brené Brown: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead. See also The Gifts of Imperfection for directly addressing shame.
Commonly Recommended
Attached
The New Science of Adult Attachment and How It Can Help You Find - and Keep - Love, by Amir Levine & Rachel Heller: Determine attachment style, build stronger connections.
Boundaries
When to Say Yes, How to Say No to Take Control of Your Life, by Henry Cloud & John Townsend: The definitive, original work on boundaries.
Mindset: The New Psychology of Success
Tbd
Man’s Search for Meaning
by Viktor Frankl. Conceived in the Nazi concentration camps, an insightful exploration of human will-to-meaning, even in the worst adversity or existential suffering.
The Denial of Death
by Ernest Becker. A Pulitzer-prize winner seeking an answer to the vital lie of life—man’s refusal to acknowledge his mortality and answer the call to engage.
The Body Keeps the Score
Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma, by Bessel van der Kolk M.D: How trauma reshapes body and brain, harming pleasure, self-control, and trust. Paths to recovery.
Mating in Captivity
by Ether Perel: examines the complexities of sustaining desire and finding more exciting, playful, and even poetic sex in long-term relationships.
How to Control Your Anxiety
Before It Controls You
by Albert Ellis: Classic CBT self-help from a pioneer of psychotherapy. Our unrealistic expectations produce needless anxiety not related to survival.
The Blessing
by John Trent: The love and approval children desire from parental relationships. A discussion of meaningful touch, messages, values, futures, and commitments.
For Parents:
Parenting the Strong-Willed Child
by Rex Forehand, Ph.D. and Nicholas Long Ph.D. Achieve discipline using positive reinforcement, without yelling or harming your child's self-esteem. Includes a validated, five-week program to manage your child’s behavior successfully, specific factors of disruptive behavior; ways to develop a positive atmosphere; and strategies for managing specific behavior problems.
Louise Bates Ames Child Series
Your One-Year-Old: The Fun-Loving, Fussy; Your Two-Year-Old: Terrible or Tender; etc. Ames details the developmental stages of children from a research perspective. Reading provides peace for parents worried and surprised by the constant change of child growth and will affirm various child quirks in each stage, providing confidence.
For Professionals
Start with Why
How Great Leaders Inspire Everyone to Take Action, by Simon Sinek: The third most popular TED video of all time. His framework will change how you view your goals.
Give & Take
by Adam Grant: Success is dependent on our interactions. Addresses approaches to work, relational interactions, and productivity for business professionals and more.
Originals
by Adam Grant: How to recognize good ideas, be heard, build allies, choose the right time to act, manage fear/doubt, nurture children; and welcome dissent.
Never Split the Difference
Negotiating as if Your Life Depended on It, by Chris Voss & Tahl Raz: Life is full of negotiation and compromises. Level up emotional intelligence and intuition.
Leadership & Self-deception (1)
by The Arbinger Institute: How we blind ourselves to our true motivations and sabotage our effectiveness and happiness with self-justification. How to change.
The Anatomy of Peace (2)
by The Arbinger Institute: Sequel to Leadership & Self-deception. We misunderstand the root of conflict and continue problems. How to heal relationships and let go of blame.
How Innovation Works
Serendipity, Energy and the Saving of Time, by Matt Ridley
The Fearless Organization
Creating Psychological Safety in the Workplace, by Amy C. Edmondson: Practical guidance for teams/organizations. How to help talent speak their mind.
Deep Study
Maps of Meaning
by Dr. Jordan Peterson. Analysis of the psychological patterns that shape society.
Incerto (Black Swan, Antifragile, etc.)
by Dr. Nassim Taleb. A discussion of ontology and probability for business leaders.
The Origins & History
of Consciousness
by Dr. Erich Neumann. Evolutionary psychology at its finest.
The Untethered Soul
The Journey Beyond Yourself, by Michael Singer
Civilization & Its Discontents
by Dr. Sigmund Freud. The social psychology of group decision-making.
Character & Neurosis
by Dr. Claudio Naranjo. Psychosis, as defined by personality constructs.
Thus Spake Zarathustra
Beyond Good & Evil
by Dr. Friedrich Nietzsche. When the golden rule is too much, and we are not enough.
No Man Is an Island
by Thomas Merton
Fiction
Fiction is great for self-care or self-soothing, and can relax us as much as exercise or nature. Great fiction is a map of behaviors we can follow toward positive or negative outcomes and gives us external perspectives on our relationship challenges and individual existence. I recommend starting with the Hugo Awards to find great stories.
Face your flaws, you’ll notice the change
Courage makes the difference between health and psychosis. Courage comes from testing reality and building insight. Reading of any type, then writing and discussing our responses builds resilience and bravery.
Podcasts
Akimbo
Understand work roles and entrepreneurship.
Status roles: Status roles drive us.
You're it: The power (and the myth) of getting picked.
Honest signals: Lessons from the poisonous dart tree frog.
Possibility and Enrollment: Both work to create cultural change.
The Science of Success
Mental Fitness and Creating the Life You Want with Dr. Sasha Heinz: overcome fear and anxiety and transform your life. No one’s actually stuck, but we FEEL stuck because what we want – goals, desires, change – are bumping up against an emotional roadblock or subconscious belief.
Harvard Business Review: HBR IdeaCast
Women at Work: Make Yourself Heard: Communication: 1) speech pattern differences in genders; 2) how to be assertive in meetings; and 3) deal with interrupters.
When ‘Best Practices’ Backfire: So-called best practices actually hold us back. Defy industry norms and reinvigorate your business.
Basic Competence Can Be a Strategy: Why seemingly common-sensical management practices are so hard to implement. Only 6% of firms globally are qualified as highly well-managed. “Why Do We Undervalue Competent Management?”
4 Behaviors of Top-Performing CEOs: CEO performance. 1) deciding with speed and conviction 2) engaging for impact 3) adapting proactively 4) delivering reliably.
Sheryl Sandberg & Adam Grant on Resilience: How to build resilience in yourself, team, and organization.
Jordan B. Peterson Podcast
Excellent for self-sabotaging, religious narcissism, or bleak worldviews.
The inevitability, utility, and danger of hierarchies: tribalism, factions, and coming to terms with your role in the community.
Warren Farrell – The Absolute Necessity of Fathers: ideologues, identity-politics, systemic patriarchal prejudice, and oppression.
How to Change the World: Properly. Truth is the route to societal improvement — and why that starts with the individual.
The Psychology of Redemption: Redemption, transformation in therapy.
The Necessity of Virtue: Virtue, beyond religious contexts.
Tragedy vs. Evil: Distinguishing evil from tragedy, and dealing with both.
Reality and the Sacred: introduction to myths and religious representations.
Freakonomics
How to Change Your Mind: Barriers to changing our mind and how we can get better at becoming who we want to be when change is required.
How to Launch a Behavior-Change Revolution: Driving forces push us in a particular direction. Restraining forces prevent us from going there. If we want to achieve behavior change, diminish the restraining forces, instead of increasing the driving forces.
The Tony Robbins Podcast
Self-empowerment of forward momentum for professionals.
The #1 Decision You Will Ever Make: How we make unconscious decisions based on habit and conditioning, and believe suffering inevitable. We have the power to leave suffering states and cultivate love, joy, gratitude, playfulness, growth, and appreciation.
In Pursuit Of Your Why: James Altucher On Purpose, Hunger And How To Create A Compelling Future. Make your vision real. The science of building wealth and the tactical investment strategies to create financial abundance.
How To Create Life-changing Moments: The Power of Moments – the Heath brothers on the most memorable and meaningful experiences in our lives. How to intentionally create experiences that enrich and enhance our lives.
Are You A Giver Or A Taker?: Adam Grant on How businesses can get the most out of their employees, and how employees can get the most out of their jobs. They cover givers and takers, innovators and original thinkers.
Jordan Harbinger On Social Influence: How nonverbal communication and first impressions impact actions and reactions. Better business is better relationships. Social capital is trust, understanding, and even loyalty which supports success.
The 3 Steps To A Breakthrough: Creating a breakthrough: strategy, story and state. The way you approach a goal, your beliefs about your life, and your mental game form the foundation for any success or failure.
The Ultimate Success Formula: Joseph Mcclendon III On The Four Steps To Getting What You Want.
Tony Robbins & Deepak Chopra: The principles of lifelong health, the spiritual forces that shape our lives, and the immense power of the mind-body connection.
Tony Robbins & Jay Abraham: World-class Marketing, Strategic Innovation And How To Grow A Business Exponentially. Jay Abraham on simple strategies to dramatically increase your income.
The Psychology Of Success: Peter Diamandis. 80% of the time, the chokehold on your business is your psychology, your thinking. Execution creates greater results than theory. And execution starts with your mental and emotional state.
The #1 Secret To Productivity: Charles Duhigg. Our habit-making behavior forms the core of our lives and businesses. As much as 40-45% of our daily activities are habits, so get your habits right to reach your goals.